The science of hugs: Why a 20-second embrace is the best Valentine's gift

According to a 2022 study of 76 people in romantic relationships, women who embraced their partner for roughly 20 seconds before a stressful task showed measurably lower cortisol responses compared to those who didn't. 

The broader research reveals that duration doesn’t tell the full story. What matters more is hugging regularly and hugging people you genuinely trust. This includes romantic partners, close friends, and family.

Let’s dive into what the science says about the health benefits of hugs.

Duration matters, but it’s not everything

Twenty seconds may not sound like a lot, but it’s probably longer than your typical hug. If that sounds abstract, 20 seconds is about the length of singing two “Happy Birthdays” or the chorus of Dolly Parton’s hit “Jolene.”

The duration is deliberately long. During sustained touch, gentle pressure activates C-tactile fibres that transmit a “safety signal” to brain regions in charge of emotional regulation. 

This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for “rest-and-digest” responses. Many of us could benefit from spending more time in this relaxed state, so it’s a welcome response from an extended embrace.

Frequency and trust make the best hugs

While the previously mentioned 2022 study looked at romantic partners, there’s actually compelling evidence centring on regular touch with trusted people, like family and friends.

In a 2018 study tracking 404 adults over two weeks, receiving a hug on days with interpersonal conflict was associated with smaller drops in positive mood and smaller rises in negative mood. Basically, hugs may have helped with emotional resilience in the face of challenging emotions.

This study didn't specify hug duration: it just tracked whether or not people had hugs. Another study found similar benefits from regular physical touch, including both hugging and hand holding. 

The benefits aren’t limited to romantic partners

What’s key is who you’re hugging. An unwelcome hug from an acquaintance doesn't produce the same effect as an embrace from someone you're genuinely close to.

A longitudinal study tracking older adults found that people who reported more frequent hugging and touch from partners, family, friends, and neighbours showed a lower likelihood of markers associated with chronic inflammation years later.

While there are likely many reasons for this, hugs and other benefits of close, supportive relationships may have contributed.

Another 2023 study on older adults found that friendship quality (measured as trust, closeness, companionship, and low conflict) also predicted better mental health and lower mortality.

What’s interesting is that the protective factor isn’t romance. Instead, compassionate physical touch and trusted emotional safety are the ingredients for health-promoting hugs.

Of course, touch only has these benefits when it’s welcome and consensual; unwanted contact can have the opposite effect.

What this means in practice

The great thing about adding more and longer hugs into your life is that it’s not just you feeling the benefits—your loved ones feel them, too.

Aim for something longer than a quick squeeze, sustained enough to actually feel your breathing and heart rate slow down. 

To make this stick, find a spot in your daily routine that has a few spare moments. For example, you could try adding a hug before leaving your home in the morning, around mealtimes, or right before bed.

Takeaway

Regular hugs with people you trust can measurably reduce stress hormones, buffer mood during conflict, and may reduce chronic inflammation over time.

Importantly, the effect isn’t limited to romantic partners: embraces with close friends, family, and children appear to produce similar stress-buffering and emotional benefits.

Disclaimer: This information is for general educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always speak with a qualified healthcare professional first if you have concerns about your health.